Self Care SOS
You know those moments when everything feels like.. too much?
When your nervous system is sending every possible alarm signal and your usual coping mechanisms have mysteriously stopped working?
This is your emergency protocol; not another aspirational self-care list, but an actual, actionable roadmap for when you’re in the thick of it.
Think of this as your nervous system’s emergency contact. Bookmark it. Screenshot it. Keep it somewhere you can find when rational thought feels impossible.
When EVERYTHING feels like an emergency:
Here’s what we’re not going to do: pretend that a face mask and some positive affirmations are going to pull you out of acute overwhelm. What we are going to do is walk through a sequence designed to help your nervous system downregulate, because that’s what actually needs to happen before anything else can shift.
This protocol isn’t linear. You might need step three before step one. You might only make it through two steps before you feel human again. That’s not just okay—that’s exactly how it should work.
“Self-care in crisis isn’t about optimization. It’s about stabilization.”
Step 1: Interrupt the Spiral
The Biology Before the Mindset
Before we talk about acknowledging feelings or journaling or any of the other steps that require executive function, we need to address the fact that your body is currently in fight-or-flight mode. And when you’re in that state, your prefrontal cortex—the part that does reasoning and emotional regulation—is essentially offline.
So we start with breath. Not because it’s trendy, but because it’s one of the few things that can directly communicate with your autonomic nervous system.
Box breathing: Four counts in. Hold for four. Four counts out. Hold for four. Repeat until something shifts—even slightly.
Find whatever quiet you can access, even if that’s locking yourself in the bathroom or sitting in your parked car. Close your eyes if that feels safe. The goal here isn’t to feel calm (that might not be accessible right now). The goal is to simply interrupt the escalation.
Step 2: Name What’s Happening
Without the Self-Judgment Spiral
Once you’ve created even a small amount of space from the intensity, try to identify what you’re feeling. Not what you think you should be feeling. Not what would make sense to be feeling. What you’re actually experiencing right now.
Overwhelmed. Anxious. Scared. Angry. Numb. All of the above simultaneously. Whatever it is—it’s valid. This isn’t the time for analysis or justification. Just acknowledgment.
“You don’t need to understand your feelings to honor them.”
If naming feels too abstract, try this instead: Where do you feel it in your body? Tight chest? Clenched jaw? Stomach in knots? Sometimes the body knows before the mind can articulate.
Step 3: Ground Through the Senses
Tangible Over Conceptual
Your nervous system responds to concrete sensory input more reliably than it responds to thoughts. So we’re going to give it something physical to anchor to.
Choose one:
Temperature shift: Splash cold water on your face. Hold an ice cube. Wrap yourself in the heaviest blanket you own. The shock or pressure can help signal safety to your system.
Taste: Sip something warm slowly. Let your full attention rest on the temperature, the flavor, the sensation of swallowing. Tea, coffee, hot water with lemon—whatever’s accessible.
Touch: Find the softest thing within reach and really feel its texture. Pet your dog or cat if you have one. The bilateral movement of petting an animal is actually regulating.
Movement: If your body has energy that needs to move, let it. Shake it out. Stretch. Take a walk around the block. Match the movement to the activation level—gentle if you’re shutting down, more vigorous if you’re wired.
Step 4: Clear Your Immediate Field
Environmental Reset
A cluttered environment creates cognitive load, and right now you don’t have bandwidth for extra load. This isn’t about deep cleaning or organizing your life—it’s about creating a small pocket of order in your immediate space.
Set a timer for five minutes. Clear your desk. Put away the dishes. Straighten the throw pillows. Whatever’s in your line of sight that’s adding to the chaos—just move it.
The goal isn’t perfection. It’s reducing visual noise so your nervous system has one less thing to process.
Step 5: Create a Digital Boundary
The Information Diet You Actually Need
Here’s permission to put your phone face down. Turn off notifications. Close all the tabs. Step away from the 24-hour news cycle, the performative productivity on social media, the group chats that are probably well-intentioned but feel like obligations right now.
Just for a bit. Just long enough to remember what your own thoughts sound like without the constant input.
“Disconnecting isn’t avoidance. Sometimes it’s the most responsible thing you can do.”
If completely disconnecting feels impossible, at least curate. Unfollow, mute, set boundaries around when and how you engage. Your nervous system will thank you.
Step 6: Externalize the Internal
The Messy Brain Dump
Get a piece of paper. Open a notes app. Voice memo if writing feels like too much. And just let it out.
Stream of consciousness. No punctuation required. No coherence necessary. This isn’t for anyone else to read—it’s for you to get the swirling thoughts out of your head and onto something external.
Sometimes seeing your thoughts outside of yourself helps you realize they’re not as catastrophic as they felt internally. Sometimes it doesn’t change anything except that you’ve moved the energy. Both outcomes are valuable.
Step 7: Reach for Support (If You Can)
Connection as Nervous System Regulation
If you have capacity for it, reach out. Text a friend. Call someone who gets it. Schedule with your therapist if you have one.
This comes with a caveat: only if it won’t create more stress. If the person you’d reach out to requires you to perform okayness or explain yourself extensively, save this step for later. Right now, we’re only reaching for support that feels genuinely supportive.
And if you don’t have that person? That’s valuable information. But it doesn’t mean you’re alone—it means this is something to prioritize building when you have more capacity.
Crisis resources are there for a reason. If you’re in genuine crisis, text HOME to 741741 or call 988. These aren’t just for the worst-case scenarios—they’re for when you need support and your usual resources aren’t accessible.
Step 8: Give Yourself Something to Anchor To
The Future-Forward Micro-Plan
When everything feels overwhelming, the future can feel impossibly bleak. Counter that by creating one small thing to look forward to—emphasis on small and soon.
Not “plan a vacation” or “get my life together.” More like “watch that show I’ve been saving” or “order the specific takeout I’m craving” or “take a bath with the good bath salts.”
Something tangible. Something within the next 24 hours. Something that doesn’t require you to be a different person than you are right now.
“Hope doesn’t always look like big dreams. Sometimes it looks like dinner you’re actually excited about.”
After the Acute Phase
Here’s what this protocol doesn’t do: fix everything. Solve the underlying issues. Make you never feel overwhelmed again.
What it does do: help you move from acute dysregulation to a place where you can function. From there, you can make bigger decisions, address root causes, build more sustainable systems.
But first, you have to get regulated enough to access your thinking brain. That’s what this is for.
The Bigger Truth
Self-care in moments of crisis looks nothing like self-care in moments of maintenance. And that’s exactly as it should be. You don’t need to yoga your way out of a nervous system in alarm mode. You need practical tools that meet you in the intensity.
Save this. Share it with people who might need it. And remember: needing this protocol doesn’t mean you’re failing at self-care. It means you’re human, navigating a world that’s often overwhelming, and you’re doing the work of showing up for yourself even when it’s hard.
That’s not just self-care. That’s radical self-responsibility.
Which step in this protocol speaks to you most right now? Sometimes knowing your go-to anchor point can make the whole sequence more accessible when you actually need it.
